Today is December 9, 2020. I am in a bad mood. I don’t feel like blogging, but I am experimenting with being consistent, and it’s Wednesday, so today’s the day for this week’s blog post.
But I don’t want to write. So I took a look at my old website, with my old blog, to see if there’s a post from that I can just share here. And I stumbled upon a couple of posts from March 2020, when I was feeling so good. When I was feeling so good that I felt compelled to blog about it being okay to be okay in the midst of a pandemic— back when it was just getting started…
On March 19, 2020, I published this blog called “It’s Okay.” And it went like this:
IT’S OKAY TO BE HAPPY.
I’ve been feeling pretty fantastic lately, which feels even more amazing because it almost seems as if I’m not supposed to be happy right now. But I am. And that’s okay. You can be happy too. We don’t have to let what’s going on in the world right now take over. We do need to take certain precautions, care for ourselves and others, and respect the current public health and safety recommendations. But we can still feel happy while doing that. It’s possible.
IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SAD.
Maybe you don’t feel happy. Maybe you feel sad, freaked out, stressed out, depressed. Maybe on the outside you look fine but inside you’re a mess. And maybe my happiness even bothers you. That’s okay. Just know that I also felt sad, freaked out, stressed out at times, but then something shifted. I mostly feel good. But yesterday I had a moment of sadness, when I had to ask some woman not to pet my dog. There are ups and downs. There always are.
JUST FEEL WHAT YOU’RE FEELING.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling good right now. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad right now. There’s nothing wrong with being all over the map. So just let yourself be. Let yourself feel. And let others feel what they’re feeling too.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.
My heart goes out to those who are struggling. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. We need to take this seriously, but also welcome levity.
Although I have been feeling pretty fantastic lately, there are some things that freak me out and stress me out a bit about what’s happening in the world right now. But I’m not going to get stuck in my thoughts about that.
I’m not going to dim my light or hold back my tears. I’m going to feel it all and keep shining bright in the face of my fears.
Even when I feel down, dark, sad, frustrated, scared, and confused, deep down inside, I know all will be well. Thanks to my Sheng Zhen practice and other spiritual practices and beliefs, I feel rooted in the bliss at my core and know this current situation will pass.
And I have faith in humanity. We can learn from this. We can grow from this. It may not be easy. It may be uncomfortable. But we are resilient and intelligent beings. We are creative, too.
So, yes, feel your feelings and know it’s okay to not feel good right now. But also consider getting creative. What can you do to feel a little better when feeling blue? Maybe giving yourself permission to cry is what you need. Maybe going for a walk and feeling the sun and/or breeze against your skin. Maybe painting or drawing, writing, or cooking. Pulling weeds. Making a video. Playing a song. Dancing. Daydreaming. Meditating. Moving… What is it that you need when you’re feeling down? Sometimes it’s to just simply be right where you are, feeling stuck in those feelings, but sometimes it’s to move through them to move out of them. So, ask yourself, and be honest: what do you need to feel your best right now, even if it’s not going to be a sparkly happy kind of “best”?
If your answer is something you can do, then do it. If it's something like "a hug" but you're alone, well... I am considering creating a guided meditation/visualization for helping your body feel like it's receiving a warm embrace! But until then, just try imagining it on your own or let the earth hug you by lying down on the grass somewhere or even just your floor. This is just one example of something you might need in the moment when you ask yourself what you need--an example I use because "a hug" is often what I need! But I am a pro at finding other ways to get this need met when a hug can't be found. So stay tuned for more on that. Yes, I think a guided meditation or video is about to get added to my "ta da" list!
Until then, breathe deep. Feel your feelings. Stay healthy. Be well!
As I read this today, on a day that I’m not feeling happy—and barely even feeling “just okay”—I feel a mixture of feelings in response to the March 2020 me who wrote this. I feel impressed and grateful, but also some sorrow. The IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SAD part made me start to cry. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel energized. I want to feel like I can be a beacon of light for others. But today I just don’t feel any of that. I feel blah. I feel worse than blah. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to feel okay. It’s okay to feel not so okay. And I know how I feel will change. Whether it changes tomorrow or today, or another day, I always feel better , at some point, after feeling bad. Don’t you? I think it’s hard to remember that sometimes. It can be easy to forget. Although it’s easier for me to remember because of my Sheng Zhen practice and how it’s made me more aware of and connected to my “bliss at the core.” So I just always know, deep down, no matter how crappy I feel right now, it will pass. And all is well.
…But, to be totally honest, some days are harder than others, and that knowing feels far away, feels quiet. Sometimes I start to doubt, start to wonder… Will I feel better? What if I don’t? But then I remind myself that I felt great just the other day, and I always have felt better, after feeling bad, in the past, and so, surely, I will again. Right??….
And although I haven’t created a guided visualization/meditation for a virtual hug, I did create this hug video. Maybe I just need a hug. So I’m going to go watch my own video and take my own advice.
Speaking of taking my own advice, maybe now is a good time to read my 9 Tips for Tough Times? If you don’t already have it, you can get it here.