Yesterday I felt cranky and kind of down, on and off, throughout the day. Now I'm feeling better, but yesterday was yuck. Not all of it, but some of it. And I feel like it's important to share that since most of what I share on social media and in my blogs is mostly pretty perky and positive. Gotta keep it real, right?! ;-)
So, yesterday I felt cranky and kind of down.
Maybe it was from hearing more sirens than usual--even though I'd also noticed that the previous day and didn't really let it get to me.
Maybe it was from hearing we have another 30 days of staying at home--even though I like staying home and have been handling it quite well the past two weeks.
Maybe it was because I had to send an email to someone who owes me money--even though because of what's happening in the world it would be understandable if this month's the payment needs to be late or can't be paid in full.
Maybe it was just hormones. Day 1 of my cycle is right around the corner. Maybe it's just part of my ebb and flow...
Maybe it's all of this. Maybe it's more.
Maybe it's feeling the collective consciousness.
Maybe it's catching glimpses of disturbing headlines/titles when scrolling through YouTube on my iPad while I'm just trying to find a yoga video or something silly to watch.
Maybe it's because I got an email with some really great news but didn't even feel like I could fully celebrate it because... it's too hard to explain in a vague way, and I don't want to share the whole story yet. But there's something I've been dreaming of doing for a long time, and it needs to be put on hold, despite some recent good news.
Speaking of putting things on hold--here's the last one...
Maybe it's because of grieving the loss of taking Burlesque 101 this Spring, after a few years of putting off signing up--even though I could have agreed to an online version. No. That's not the experience I want. And so I'll wait.
That was my yesterday. My yesterday morning and afternoon.
And then it got better.
I met with a private student online.
Then I taught Awakening the Soul online.
Then I attended Inward Journey online. Inward Journey is a 6-month program I'm in at the Center for Spiritual Living. AND I AM LOVING IT.
So, although most of the day felt kind of icky and uncomfortable, heavy, not so good, I moved through it. And there were even some really wonderful parts of the day and night, too.
So, it's not always all sunshine and flowers in my world. But it also doesn't have to be all dark clouds and mud. We can have both.
"No mud, no lotus." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
It's okay to feel cranky sometimes. It's okay to feel down.
As my private student said last night when I was sharing the "I'm so cute" mantra, "you can feel cranky AND be cute." Yes, when we first got started and she asked me how I was, I told her the truth. I told her I'd been feeling cranky on and off throughout the day. And she gave me permission, just as I would give others. What a gift!
That was yesterday, too: a gift.
Every day, no matter what does or does not happen, every day is a gift.
So, what are you grateful for right now? Take a breath and ask yourself. Consider writing it down.
Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Sheng Zhen Teacher and Holistic Wellness Coach. Her specialties include self-love, embodied joy, women's sexuality, spirituality, surgery preparation, and trauma recovery. She is also a Supreme Science Qigong Instructor, Essence vs Form Coach, and Award-winning Author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Diet: Embrace Your Sexual Energy and Awaken Your Senses for a Healthier, Happier, Sexier You."