The other day I was suddenly overcome with thoughts and feelings around not having finished writing a book yet, and some other things I don't want to get into here. But basically I was having all sorts of stressful thoughts and feelings about how much time I'd let pass, how many detours I'd taken, all the distractions I allowed to get in my way, all those hours, days, years I could have should have would have been writing, but, but, but.... But here's the thing: those distractions and detours are part of the path, part of life, and everything will happen when the time is right, whether it's in this lifetime or the next.
I know this. I knew this. And yet? And yet it didn't matter that day that I knew this. I didn't feel it; I didn't quite believe it.
But then? Suddenly, in the midst of this strong wave of the coulda woulda shoulda thoughts and the what-have-I- been-doing-all-this-time and how-could-i-let-this-drag-out-for-so-long questions, I suddenly heard a loud and clear message come through that silenced all those thoughts and questions, a message from deep within that brought peace: I am eternal.
Plain and simple. I am eternal.
I smiled. I felt at ease. I got it.
Deep within I knew this to be true. And this time? I felt it. My busy mind stopped. My body relaxed.
While I do love having goals and creative dreams and taking step towards them, this idea of being eternal helped relieve the pressure I was feeling. The pressure for things to be a certain way and happen by a certain time. I still see myself finishing and publishing books in the very near future. But that's not the point. The point is to enjoy this life, do your best, let the process unfold without pushing or forcing or beating up on ourselves when things seem to be taking too long or not going right or how you pictured. Maybe they're not taking too long. Maybe it's all happening in just the right time and in just the right way.
Relaxed steps in the direction of our dreams. That's what I'm thinking. That's what I'm feeling. That's what I'm needing to practice. Patience. Trust. And Faith. Perhaps these are the biggest lessons, for me, in this lifetime. And if I don't get it right this time around? Good thing I believe this soul of mine has eternity. ;)
Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Sheng Zhen Teacher and Holistic Wellness Coach. Her specialties include self-love, embodied joy, women's sexuality, spirituality, surgery preparation, and trauma recovery. She is also a Supreme Science Qigong Instructor, Essence vs Form Coach, and Award-winning Author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Diet: Embrace Your Sexual Energy and Awaken Your Senses for a Healthier, Happier, Sexier You."