Lately I've been singing out loud while walking Buddy. Not the whole time. And not very loudly. And sometimes I whistle instead. But I never used to do that--sing out loud while walking the dog.
Maybe I'm doing it now because there are less people around, especially in the mornings. But I also sometimes do it a little during our 2nd walk of the day, when more people are out and about.
This morning it was the Inspector Gadget theme song, thanks to watching a YouTube video last night full of 80's cartoon theme songs.
Yesterday it was Back in the Day (Puff) by Erykah Badu. And I think it came to mind because the day before I charged up an old, retired, phone to listen to some music I hadn't heard in a long time. I don't recall this song playing, but it did have a bunch of Erykah Badu in it.
And "Back in the day when things were cool," does go through my head from time to time anyway. And this seems like an appropriate time for those words, considering how things have changed...
Even though I'm doing really well through this pandemic and the stay at home order, and my life actually hasn't changed all that much, thing have changed. Some changes are not so cool. But, to be quite honest, some changes are. I mean, I get to do my favorite thing--teach Sheng Zhen-- 5 days a week from the comfort of my living room AND I can reach more people that way (people who couldn't attend in person classes because of schedule or location).
Nevertheless, "Back in the day when things were cool" goes through my head, and yesterday I was singing it out loud during our morning walk.
I'd alternate between that and... get ready for this... this may shock some of you, but... "The Spirit of God is upon me. Whoa oh oh! The Spirit of God is upon me." I hadn't even heard this song since January or maybe February--whenever it was played in the Inward Journey class I'm taking at the Center for Spiritual Living.
And, yes, someday I will be sharing more about my evolving relationship with the word (and concept) of "God", a word that used to make me feel uncomfortable, a word I used to avoid but now sometimes sing out loud as I walk down the street. But that's not what this blog post is about. So, back to the songs I sing...
The day before yesterday, it was a song I must've heard on the radio last time I drove my car--almost 2 weeks ago. Not sure how else Doobie Ashtray got into my head, even though "back in the day" I used to listen to it a lot. And as I said in the Curiosity Walk, I don't even remember the last time I smoked, so it's weird that these weed-related songs are going through my head. Maybe it's nostalgia? I have been looking at old photos and talking to long-time friends a lot...
So the day before yesterday, and the day before that, I'm walking around singing, "Whatcha gonna do when you're all alone And you wanna smoke weed But the reefer's all gone? Don't front." Actually, it's "What you gonna do when the people go home" but i've been singing it as "whatcha gonna do when you're all alone" since, you know... social distancing and being all alone (other than Buddy).
And maybe that's one reason for the singing out loud--keeping myself company. Being playful with myself. Soothing myself. Entertaining myself. Uplifting myself... and possibly anyone who happens to hear me.
The singing out loud started longer ago than just a few days ago. But that's tied into the story of the "G" word, so I'll save that for another time.
In the meantime, when was the last time you sang out loud while doing something like walking down the street? Or do you miss singing in your car while commuting? Maybe it's time to go for a drive, even if just to sing.
In my blog post the other day, I shared a concern that if we say "everyone has something to heal" or "everyone is always healing," then it's like implying there's "something wrong with them." Something broken. Something needing to be fixed.
I asked you to share some thoughts on this before I share more of mine.
And now, here are mine:
I feel that it's important to remember the Truth of who we are: We are are Perfect. We are all Whole. Nothing to fix.
And yet it's also true that we have things to heal.
Sometimes we have things going on physically, emotionally, mentally, or energetically that appear as problems--or as something that needs healing. Perhaps the important thing here is to recognize that just because we are healing, that does not mean we are broken or that there's something "wrong" with us.
What's so wrong about feeling like there's something wrong? I can hear some people thinking that! Even a part of me is wondering that!
And my answer is: It depends.
Does the thought--do those words--empower or disempower you? Does the thought of needing to heal imply that something is wrong with you? And does the thought having something to heal or feeling like something is "wrong" make you feel smaller or help you feel more expansive and motivated towards taking some action? Does acknowledging that something is/feels "wrong" make you feel bad, or is it just useful information to guide you towards making a change for the better?
Some of this is about semantics--whether it's the word "healing" or the word "wrong." Some is about perception and belief systems.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. I feel very curious to hear from others about this. All I know is that as a teacher, or in any leadership role, it feels important to me to be mindful and considerate regarding word choice and the power of words.
So, personally, I don't feel comfortable saying that we are all in the process of healing, and yet I recognize that maybe--depending on how you look at it--maybe we are.
Even as I write that though, part of me sighs, ugh, but that just feels like so much work. I just want to be free and not always feeling like there's something to heal!
So when I share a concern about how others will take "we are all healing something," maybe I'm projecting. Because sometimes that implies to me a need for ongoing work. A constant need for improvement or something. And not in a fun, expansive, and evolutionary way.
Then again, sometimes I do see healing as an adventure, as constant growth and expansion! And that feels good.
So, again, the bottom line is that it depends. It depends on who you are. It depends on the day. It depends on the context.
Today the thought of everyone always being in need of healing doesn't feel good to me. Maybe it would ring true another day. I don't know.
Again, I find myself wondering, what do you think?
What does healing mean to you?
Comment or send me a message. I'd love to hear from you.
Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Sheng Zhen Teacher and Holistic Wellness Coach. Her specialties include self-love, embodied joy, women's sexuality, spirituality, surgery preparation, and trauma recovery. She is also a Supreme Science Qigong Instructor, Essence vs Form Coach, and Award-winning Author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Diet: Embrace Your Sexual Energy and Awaken Your Senses for a Healthier, Happier, Sexier You."