The other day I was suddenly overcome with thoughts and feelings around not having finished writing a book yet, and some other things I don't want to get into here. But basically I was having all sorts of stressful thoughts and feelings about how much time I'd let pass, how many detours I'd taken, all the distractions I allowed to get in my way, all those hours, days, years I could have should have would have been writing, but, but, but.... But here's the thing: those distractions and detours are part of the path, part of life, and everything will happen when the time is right, whether it's in this lifetime or the next.
I know this. I knew this. And yet? And yet it didn't matter that day that I knew this. I didn't feel it; I didn't quite believe it.
But then? Suddenly, in the midst of this strong wave of the coulda woulda shoulda thoughts and the what-have-I- been-doing-all-this-time and how-could-i-let-this-drag-out-for-so-long questions, I suddenly heard a loud and clear message come through that silenced all those thoughts and questions, a message from deep within that brought peace: I am eternal.
Plain and simple. I am eternal.
I smiled. I felt at ease. I got it.
Deep within I knew this to be true. And this time? I felt it. My busy mind stopped. My body relaxed.
While I do love having goals and creative dreams and taking step towards them, this idea of being eternal helped relieve the pressure I was feeling. The pressure for things to be a certain way and happen by a certain time. I still see myself finishing and publishing books in the very near future. But that's not the point. The point is to enjoy this life, do your best, let the process unfold without pushing or forcing or beating up on ourselves when things seem to be taking too long or not going right or how you pictured. Maybe they're not taking too long. Maybe it's all happening in just the right time and in just the right way.
Relaxed steps in the direction of our dreams. That's what I'm thinking. That's what I'm feeling. That's what I'm needing to practice. Patience. Trust. And Faith. Perhaps these are the biggest lessons, for me, in this lifetime. And if I don't get it right this time around? Good thing I believe this soul of mine has eternity. ;)
I woke up today yearning to write and write and write and write. I have a couple of topics in particular just waiting for a blog entry. But as the clock ticks, and Tuesdays are full of appointments, I've decided to share with you something I've written before. Not just because I don't have time for fresh content this morning, but because as the holidays approach and the days get shorter, I know I'm not the only one feeling a little stressed. So below is a reminder of what to do when feeling crappy, from a newsletter I sent out in October. Enjoy...
Some days are tough.
And sometimes those rough patches come when least expected.....
On Saturday night I decided to experiment with scheduling a week's worth of these early morning inspirational, start-the-day-off-right kind of posts for my Facebook page. Normally I like hopping online and posting what comes to me in the present moment, but I wanted to see how this would go. Little did I know that on the first day of these pre-scheduled posts, I would be starting my day off with the loss of a super close loved one.
I'm not talking about death here. Nobody died. I'm talking about changes in relationships here, how they come and go, and how sometimes the loss of a friendship, or really any type of relationship, is dragged out over time, but sometimes it happens out of the blue, quickly, and in a way that really hurts.
So when I realized that these posts were going to be going out during my grieving and adjustment period, I suddenly felt like a phony. It wasn't intentional. It was just timing. Strange, ironic, awful, yet perfect, timing. Here's what that first one said:
Did you know that spending even just a few minutes in the morning to envision your goals, to think about what's good, who and what you love, what you're grateful for, can set you up for an awesome day? Go ahead and try it!
That's nice, right? Right. I never would have written that at 7 a.m. on this particular Monday though. But the truth is, it worked. My own post cheered me up by reminding me of what's good.
I still spent a lot of the day crying and being present with a vast array of emotions, but my seemingly "phony" post, followed by the truly authentic glimmers of Love, Light, and Joy it stirred up in me, were just as real and as necessary to experience yesterday as my pain and tears.
So here are today's top 5 tips for getting through a rough patch:
1) Feel your feelings. All of them. Don't you dare spiritual bypass here. I used to be a big fan of spiritual bypassing, such as by "choosing joy" and trying to only focus on the silver linings. Now I know that it's essential to honor and feel the pain and the hurt, to cry your tears, to yell and scream, to let yourself simply feel like crap for a bit if that's how you feel. Allow, allow, allow, and feel. To heal.
2) Balance solitude and self-reliance with reaching out for support and spending time with friends. It's so common to isolate when we feel bad, when we're going through a rough time. Maybe because we're tired or truly want some alone time, but it can also come from a place of shame or feeling like you don't want to impose on others. You don't want to be that person who's moping and bringing others down. But here's the thing: people who love you want to be there for you, and they will be there for you. So reach out and touch someone. Literally. Touch is good. Ask for hugs. Ask for cuddles. Take a friend's dog for a walk. Go to a pet store if human contact isn't available. Interact, connect, and allow yourself to feel loved and held by others.
3) Morning pages. First thing in the morning, WRITE. By hand. In a notebook. 3 pages. Non-stop. Write before you are awake enough to really think or censor yourself. Just let it flow. Write honestly about how you feel, what your stories are, what your fears are, what your truths are, what your questions are. Be open to the answers coming through. Ask for them to come through. Then listen as you continue to write. Not only will this be like a detox, getting it out of your system, but clarity and peace and healing can come through this process.
4) Spend time outside. Ahhhhh, fresh air. I'm sitting in it now. Out by Lake Washington, listening to the waves, feeling a cool breeze. I don't care what the weather is like; when you're having a tough time, go outside. Breathe fresh air. Connect with nature. Let Mother Earth nurture and recharge you.
5) Trust in the process as it unfolds. Be present with the process, with the ebbs and flows, the highs and lows. Know everything is going to be ok, already is ok, and about to get even better, one way or the other.
That's all for now, folks.
Much Love and Light and Peace to you all,
Rebecca Clio Gould
Women's Holistic Health & Empowerment Coach
Sheng Zhen Teacher
This morning I remembered how important fresh air is.
I remembered how open, vast, and loving my Heart is.
I remembered the power of an open Heart to allow all emotions, all energy to move through. In allowance. In acceptance. In the process of transformation, transmutation. Alchemy. The only other option is stagnation, pain, suffering-- a dampening and hindering of vibrancy, of vital life force energy.
This morning I remembered the importance of play, as I watched some water birds do their thing. Racing across the water. Flapping their wings. Singing out. Who knows what they were doing? But it looked like play. It evoked a sense of playfulness and amusement within.
Maybe it's a projection, since I'm at a Lila: Divine Playformation retreat. Do birds play? Have fun? Or do they just do what they must to survive?
I live to thrive, not merely survive, not just scraping by. I live to love and love to live, as cliche as it sounds, that's how it is. There are times when I forget and feel a disconnect. And there are times, like this morning, when I remember, when I connect. Re-membering Truth, remembering Love.
Saturday morning, November 15, practicing Sheng Zhen, at Doe Bay
Have you ever been going about your day, feeling great, and then an interaction with someone leaves you feeling depleted? Maybe even sick to your stomach? Or gives you a headache?
That recently happened to me. Not the headache, but total depletion and nausea.
It happened after my neighbor told me all sorts of "scary" stuff about my house, the house I bought and moved in to last month. And I even thought I was following my own advice while talking with her, creating a good energetic and emotional boundary.
I amped up my inner light and expanded my own protective "happy bubble." I listened to what she had to say, and even responded pretty positively, with a sense of calm and perspective, no worries, no fear.
But as soon as I walked away? I felt sick and tired. And totally freaked out and upset about some of what she had said.
The first thing I did in response to noticing this? Well, first I actually looked in the mirror, said "what the fuck?," stuck out my tongue along with a "bleh" while shaking my body for a few seconds like a traumatized animal. Then I sat down and took a deep breath.
Next? I called my real estate agent, who is also a good friend and knowledgeable about all things related to not only home-purchasing but home ownership and maintenance. And he helped me see what I already knew: don't worry about it-- there's always a solution; and.... my fear-based neighbor had just zapped me.
Don't get me wrong; my neighbor is sweet, and her intentions were good. Plus, it's important to have the information and some of the warnings she provided. My concern though was how it affected me energetically and emotionally.
Although I was able to shake it off pretty quickly, it was intense while it lasted. And part of the intensity for me was actually the surprise of it. I was surprised to be feeling so affected. But I was. I'm human. And sometimes, despite our best efforts to prevent them, energy drains happen; energy zappers get us.
What to do when that happens? Here's what I suggest:
1) Surrender to it; rest. Resisting takes even more energy, so admit to the depletion. First, give in to the reality of the energy drain so that you can then go beyond the reality of the energy drain, to the reality of that there is an infinite supply of energy; you can and deserve to reclaim yours.
2) Voice it. Calling my friend, speaking about what had just happened, helped lighten up the heaviness and shine light on the darkness. It's a way of getting it out of your system, brushing it off, releasing it. If you don't have someone to talk to, or prefer to keep it to yourself, write it out. Using your voice in speech or in writing is a great way to let go of what you don't want and welcome in what you do want; it's a great way to get your power, your energy, back.
3) Shake. Literally, shake.it.off. Jump around, move around, whatever it takes. Moving your body will also help break up stagnation and bring in fresh, pure, vital life-force energy to revitalize and restore you.
Drinking water and getting some fresh air will help too. Standing in the earth with bare feet is a wonderful thing to do.
So when all else fails to prevent energy drains, try the above suggestions, and then report back here with a comment. Other tips are welcome too! What's your favorite way to regain, to reclaim, your energy when it's been drained? Comment below or email me; I'd love to hear from you.
People often see me as a bubble of joy, and often times I am! But I wasn't always like this. As a child, before kindergarten, yes. But after that? No. So below is a letter I wrote a few years ago, my partial Sheng Zhen story; it's just the beginning....
I must tell you that this qigong and meditation, these Sheng Zhen practices, changed my life.
I know that is a strong statement to make, but it’s true. Before attending my first workshop with Master Li Junfeng in 2006, I had sort of a dark cloud hanging over me. Maybe because of my car accident as a teenager. Maybe because of a divorce. Or being picked on in grade school for being overweight and having speech impediments and frizzy hair. Most likely a combination of those and other factors contributed to those dark clouds, leaving me feeling down and low energy a lot of the time. I was also self-conscious. A bit shy. Not one of those bubbly, glowing, happy people.
And I didn’t know much about qigong, certainly nothing about Sheng Zhen. In fact, I thought I probably wouldn’t like it, that it would be too serious and uncomfortable. But at that first workshop, I was pleasantly surprised.
The movements were graceful and fluid, and accompanied by inspirational, poetic contemplations. It felt like a meditation in motion. And I loved that we were not only being encouraged to smile and even laugh, but also encouraged to play and have fun with the movements! I felt something shift in me, a letting go, and an opening. A Heart-opening.
I knew from that day on that I wanted to continue this practice and also share it with others. I started practicing regularly along with a DVD, and within just a few weeks, I was one of those happy, glowing, bubbly people. I couldn’t believe it! But it was true. I also noticed that I was more grounded and calm AND that I wanted to dance, be more social, really LIVE and share with others more. My relationships improved. I worried less, and I enjoyed life more. I had more confidence and felt better in my body than I had in years. All of this thanks to cultivating a compassionate and open Heart through Sheng Zhen.
So I got on the fast track to becoming teacher, and it’s been such a pleasure to share these practices with others and to hear their stories, whether of just simply enjoying it or having some big transformational experience with it. Sheng Zhen certainly has touched the lives of many. And through my own personal practice, teaching others, and working so closely with Master Li, Sheng Zhen continues to be a blessing and a joy in my life, as well as a touchstone.
That’s all for now.
Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Sheng Zhen Teacher and Holistic Wellness Coach. Her specialties include self-love, embodied joy, women's sexuality, spirituality, surgery preparation, and trauma recovery. She is also a Supreme Science Qigong Instructor, Essence vs Form Coach, and Award-winning Author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Diet: Embrace Your Sexual Energy and Awaken Your Senses for a Healthier, Happier, Sexier You."